A moment of peace... finally i can update my blog.. in other words... say what i need to say...
Kesibukan sejak beberapa minggu ini telah menyedarkan aku tentang kehidupan seorang siswa...
Tanggungjawab yang diberi, aku terima dengan seadanya... Cuma aku seorang insan yang lemah, hanya mampu berusaha, dan berdoa... Tuhan sentiasa disisiku, namun aku jarang sekali meminta pertolongannya... Maafkan aku ya Allah..
Setiap detik saat buat kuhiba ku melarat, Dan semakin berat terasa terjerat, Mungkin ku tidak sekuat kusangka
Setiap rintik hujan buat keadaanku tenat, Dan segala kudrat kuperah keringat Daku dah penat melawan perasaan Dan memang benar sebenar-benarnya
During those busy days, i never seem to forget about you... I thought you were the one... it's a good thing though i've seen your true colors before i'm really intimate with you... oh, how you've change... i thought you were the one who knows about fairness. but, you turned out to be the one yg suka dgr sebelah pihak.... that was the only thing that i cant accept about you...
i thought you were the only one amongst all of the rest would understand the true nature of a "mouth story"...
huum....
Pernah ada rasa cinta antara kita
Kini tinggal kenangan
Ingin ku lupakan semua tentang dirimu
Namun tak lagi kan seperti dirimu.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
When the Heart Starts To Speak.
Take A good look at the Illustration above as it tells a lot about the man whose been writing on this blog...
The heart is only red in the middle , as the edge of the heart starts to fade into yellow, and soon the darkness.. the man's heart starts to reject love, and anything about love. He has experience things which leaves a big mark to him, until today. Heck, he even rejected the love of friends and family, because of high hope that the "true love" concept would make everything turned okay.
As the Heart Darkens, it spill dark Blood, instead of Red. It Means that the Blood turns black because it is never been given a new beat, a new will to live, a new pair of heart to beat with his as one. The heart spits out spots of blood, screaming help to dear God, so that He could find the heart a new friend to love and be loved.
Then, there's three arrows or more like a rail gun, blasting through the heart... The Heart has been shot down three times by few insignificant woman in his past, who doesn't really understand the man. They feel that the term woman, makes them the One to call it off, to cheat, or to make unlogical reason to take seperate path, as the man was never a cheater, never a player, never a liar, never a gonner, but only a lover. The man's heart broke 3 times already, not sure whether his heart could make it for the final journey.
There's only a few feathers left on the wings. and soon, it'll be all gone..
The wings symbolize the journey of the man, and from the looks of it, he's heart has had quite a journey, both far and unrestful, both pain and agony. Every single wing that the heart drops, was a sign of hardwork, commitment, tender loving, care, ALL turn to dust, what a waste.
Soon, the heart will make it's next flight, always hoping that the last stop, will be his last and final stop for a happily ever after ending.. Can the heart go all the way? or will it comes falling down from the sky, crashing into the harsh and cruel place we call the world? As the heart falls, would he be able to stand back up, or will it just give up??
Thats the story of my heart. I dont know if i'm able to fall back in "love".
I dont know if my heart is telling me, "she's the one", "she's attractive", she's staring at you", or "she' a friend"....
You may think that the man has someone, some one on his mind, you may say that the man looks fine, healthy and happy..
but deep down..... You'll only know the truth When The Hearts Starts To Speak.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Perangai 2 X )
Busy week, damn.
Smpai 3 event Kolej in a week??? aiyooo...
hahaha..
alhamdulillah, selesai...
tapi, bak kata dotkor Mahathir, Perjuangan belum Selesai.
Aku juga hanyalah manusia biasa yang juga mempunyai masalah sosial, duit, soal2 remeh temeh dan sebagainya..
cuma membezakan aku dgn pelajar lain ialah tanggungjawab lebih sedikit dari ramai orang.. bukan besar sngat tanggungjawab aku mcm org2 lain dlam dunia nih, cuma bila kesemuanya meletup di depan muka, there's always somethings which comes first, and some thing comes last.. Unfortunately, I messed up my Priorities, yg penting tuh last....
Setelkan event dulu, baru teringat nak call parents, call grandparents... apa laaa...
Daddy always say, Sibuk mcamana pown, coll la org2 rumah (famili).. sebab apa, nak coll, sembng pown time ada ja... besok dah masok kubur, bolehka nak coll tny khabar... i noe it might sounds funny, but to me its a serious memorandum for me...
before i write about something else, i wanna clear something on my mind.... masalah org berpangkat.. aku bkn ada masalah dgn sesapa.. cuma ang kena ingat, sebelom ang ada jawatan, ang hormat semua org, skg nih ang dah ada jawatan, ang nk semua org hormat ang, tapi ang langsi dgn semua?... apa babi??? ang awat, drpd manusia jadi tuhan ka?? tak kaan?? so bljr2 la hormat org lagi..
nie dak, mntg2 ada jawatan, nak pijak kepala semua org... sekali sekala nak tunjuk senior, nak tunjuk otai, xpa la.. nih smpai selalu sngt, marah x bertempat, ang agak2 laa... mcm tuh perangai nak lead org?? mcm tuh pny perangai nak org hormat ang??
common la weyh... umur makin meningkt, grow up.... mulut tuh, aduh weyh... bukan nak kata aku nih baik, aku perfect, aku pown bahan2 org gak, tapi aku reti bajet... ang kira nak bahan semua org... x kira la boring ka, sekali sekala ka, ang kena paham effect dia dkt org lain.... aduhh.... dah laaa, malas aku nk tulis pnjg pasal kau... bnyk lagi aku nk coret di kesempatan boleh menulis nih, hahaha...
Kelas plak sem nih, mak aih... macam2 perkara terjadi... makin membuak2 cold war dlam kelas... bukan aku x tahu, cuma bwt tak tahu, cos kalau aku amik port bnyk sngt, aku yg pening... Semua assignment aku abaikan bwt sementara waktu... nasib baik la ada sahabat2 yang mengingatkan aku tentang assignment, Kumak, Loloq, Deen, Bam, Kerry, A'ap, Wawan dan semua yang pernah remind aku ttg kerja... Takde Korunk, Mati Laaaaaaa aku..
Cakap pasal kawan, aku teringat perbualan aku dgn parents aku a few months back, abah tny :kawan2 along tuh mcamana?"
"mcm tuh la abah, semua ok kot,, awat?" "along sure ka semua ok, along kena ingat, kawan kita nih, mula2 memang baik,as soon they sees an advantage dkt kita, lagi baik, pi mana pown nak ikot, tlg tuh tlg nih, janji diaowg dpt abit of our advantage, tapi bila kita dah takda, pecayalah cakap abah, brckp dgn kita pown x nak" "takda lah abah, along rasa along dah boleh pilih kawan yang baik, insyallah" ayat last Abah aku that night sebelom aku tidor " hurm, baguslah, tapi ingat la, NANTI ALONG AKAN ADA GAK KAWAN ALONG YANG BERUBAH PERANGAI, ALONG JANGAN TERKEJUT DAH LA"...
sekarang aku paham ayat abah aku, maksud abah bukan first week or first sem, it might take 2-3 years, maybe longer to really know the heart of a true friend..
Youre getting older day by day..
No matter what you are today, you're still abah and mama son, Forever.
Regreting for neglecting their words, blessed they never neglect when i'm regretting their words. thx mama n abah.
Smpai 3 event Kolej in a week??? aiyooo...
hahaha..
alhamdulillah, selesai...
tapi, bak kata dotkor Mahathir, Perjuangan belum Selesai.
Aku juga hanyalah manusia biasa yang juga mempunyai masalah sosial, duit, soal2 remeh temeh dan sebagainya..
cuma membezakan aku dgn pelajar lain ialah tanggungjawab lebih sedikit dari ramai orang.. bukan besar sngat tanggungjawab aku mcm org2 lain dlam dunia nih, cuma bila kesemuanya meletup di depan muka, there's always somethings which comes first, and some thing comes last.. Unfortunately, I messed up my Priorities, yg penting tuh last....
Setelkan event dulu, baru teringat nak call parents, call grandparents... apa laaa...
Daddy always say, Sibuk mcamana pown, coll la org2 rumah (famili).. sebab apa, nak coll, sembng pown time ada ja... besok dah masok kubur, bolehka nak coll tny khabar... i noe it might sounds funny, but to me its a serious memorandum for me...
before i write about something else, i wanna clear something on my mind.... masalah org berpangkat.. aku bkn ada masalah dgn sesapa.. cuma ang kena ingat, sebelom ang ada jawatan, ang hormat semua org, skg nih ang dah ada jawatan, ang nk semua org hormat ang, tapi ang langsi dgn semua?... apa babi??? ang awat, drpd manusia jadi tuhan ka?? tak kaan?? so bljr2 la hormat org lagi..
nie dak, mntg2 ada jawatan, nak pijak kepala semua org... sekali sekala nak tunjuk senior, nak tunjuk otai, xpa la.. nih smpai selalu sngt, marah x bertempat, ang agak2 laa... mcm tuh perangai nak lead org?? mcm tuh pny perangai nak org hormat ang??
common la weyh... umur makin meningkt, grow up.... mulut tuh, aduh weyh... bukan nak kata aku nih baik, aku perfect, aku pown bahan2 org gak, tapi aku reti bajet... ang kira nak bahan semua org... x kira la boring ka, sekali sekala ka, ang kena paham effect dia dkt org lain.... aduhh.... dah laaa, malas aku nk tulis pnjg pasal kau... bnyk lagi aku nk coret di kesempatan boleh menulis nih, hahaha...
Kelas plak sem nih, mak aih... macam2 perkara terjadi... makin membuak2 cold war dlam kelas... bukan aku x tahu, cuma bwt tak tahu, cos kalau aku amik port bnyk sngt, aku yg pening... Semua assignment aku abaikan bwt sementara waktu... nasib baik la ada sahabat2 yang mengingatkan aku tentang assignment, Kumak, Loloq, Deen, Bam, Kerry, A'ap, Wawan dan semua yang pernah remind aku ttg kerja... Takde Korunk, Mati Laaaaaaa aku..
Cakap pasal kawan, aku teringat perbualan aku dgn parents aku a few months back, abah tny :kawan2 along tuh mcamana?"
"mcm tuh la abah, semua ok kot,, awat?" "along sure ka semua ok, along kena ingat, kawan kita nih, mula2 memang baik,as soon they sees an advantage dkt kita, lagi baik, pi mana pown nak ikot, tlg tuh tlg nih, janji diaowg dpt abit of our advantage, tapi bila kita dah takda, pecayalah cakap abah, brckp dgn kita pown x nak" "takda lah abah, along rasa along dah boleh pilih kawan yang baik, insyallah" ayat last Abah aku that night sebelom aku tidor " hurm, baguslah, tapi ingat la, NANTI ALONG AKAN ADA GAK KAWAN ALONG YANG BERUBAH PERANGAI, ALONG JANGAN TERKEJUT DAH LA"...
sekarang aku paham ayat abah aku, maksud abah bukan first week or first sem, it might take 2-3 years, maybe longer to really know the heart of a true friend..
Youre getting older day by day..
No matter what you are today, you're still abah and mama son, Forever.
Regreting for neglecting their words, blessed they never neglect when i'm regretting their words. thx mama n abah.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Bukan tak tersudi bersama, cuma diri tak sanggup terluka.
Pijakan kaki bagai tak terasa
Setiap kali lihat kau tersenyum mesra
Tapi hati masih tak berani lagi
Menghampiri
Denyutan jantung aku tergendala
Kerana hati aku berkata-kata
Jangan terkena untuk kali kedua
Kan sengsara
Bukan aku tak sudi bersama
Cuma diri tak sanggup terluka
Dulu terlalu percaya
Tak sangka aku mangsa
Fobia cinta
Kini kau datang tawarkan segala
Bulan dan bintang seluruh angkasa
Namun aku masih ragu-ragu jua
Tak terima
Entah bila
Akan dapat percaya semula
Oh manusia yang kata
Cintai mereka
Adakah aku fobia cinta
Denyutan jantung aku tergendala
Setiap kali lihat kau tersenyum mesra
Tapi hati masih tak berani lagi
Menghampiri
Denyutan jantung aku tergendala
Kerana hati aku berkata-kata
Jangan terkena untuk kali kedua
Kan sengsara
Bukan aku tak sudi bersama
Cuma diri tak sanggup terluka
Dulu terlalu percaya
Tak sangka aku mangsa
Fobia cinta
Kini kau datang tawarkan segala
Bulan dan bintang seluruh angkasa
Namun aku masih ragu-ragu jua
Tak terima
Entah bila
Akan dapat percaya semula
Oh manusia yang kata
Cintai mereka
Adakah aku fobia cinta
Denyutan jantung aku tergendala
Friday, January 21, 2011
Awak : )
Pengenalan kami bermula pada 27/6/09.. Semasa itu saya tidak mengenali awak lagi, tapi dah mula notice awak.... Saya hanya berdiam diri dan cuma berkata dalam hati "comelnya"....
1/7/09, bermula kelas pertama saya... ingat lagi, time tuh CSC dkt MHKEA 11... Masuk2 kelas, saya tidak menyedari awak ada dkt situ lagi...
Sewaktu Pengenalan diri, saya terpandang awak.. "eh eh, budak comel tuh kelas aku laa"... Happy dah time tuh, tapi pikir2 balik, "alaa, bukannye die kenal aku pown".
hahahaha...
masok part one, sembang dgn die pown sikit2 je... time tuh aku berpikir, "what's the chance of me getting with her??"
so sebab tuh aku cam sembang2 sikit je dgn dia..
and another thing, my language macam kasar... cos Penanglites memang cakap cam kasar, so it's better for me to backup before i make a fool from myself...
Naik Part 2, same situation, tapi dah memberanikan diri utk bersembang dgn dia dan classmates2 perempuan.. assignment pown kbnykkn dgn diaorg.. hahahahaa... tapi awak paling sukar utk saya bercakap.. mungkin kerana fizikal, mungkin kerana pertuturan. Aku Mengundurkan diri... Selalau jugak aku bertanya pada kawan2ku, "eh, die single ke??" tah laa, "dgr ada skandal"
"dgn mamat tuh la, dgn mamat ni lah... macam2... memang frust aku... tapi nk bwt cmne, kalau bertemu temulah, kalau berpisah, berpisahlah..
Naik Part 3, entah mcamana, aku dah berani, bersembang dgn dia... ada laa 2-3 event yg membuatkan aku lebih berani kerana perbualan aku dgn dia selalunya berkaitan assignment atau topik2 yg berkaitan dgn pelajaran... Time nih aku dah start berpikir, "boleh kot...." hahahaaha...
Hujung Part 3, aku dah bwt confession.. tapi aku x penah ada high expectation utk berdamping dgnnya... dia paham and conclusion nye, ktaowg macam teman tapi mesra.. hahaa
Naik Part 4... kita owg dah macam serasi... everyday call, maybe kadang2 je x smpt... she understands me....
Awak.... sayang Awak. : )
1/7/09, bermula kelas pertama saya... ingat lagi, time tuh CSC dkt MHKEA 11... Masuk2 kelas, saya tidak menyedari awak ada dkt situ lagi...
Sewaktu Pengenalan diri, saya terpandang awak.. "eh eh, budak comel tuh kelas aku laa"... Happy dah time tuh, tapi pikir2 balik, "alaa, bukannye die kenal aku pown".
hahahaha...
masok part one, sembang dgn die pown sikit2 je... time tuh aku berpikir, "what's the chance of me getting with her??"
so sebab tuh aku cam sembang2 sikit je dgn dia..
and another thing, my language macam kasar... cos Penanglites memang cakap cam kasar, so it's better for me to backup before i make a fool from myself...
Naik Part 2, same situation, tapi dah memberanikan diri utk bersembang dgn dia dan classmates2 perempuan.. assignment pown kbnykkn dgn diaorg.. hahahahaa... tapi awak paling sukar utk saya bercakap.. mungkin kerana fizikal, mungkin kerana pertuturan. Aku Mengundurkan diri... Selalau jugak aku bertanya pada kawan2ku, "eh, die single ke??" tah laa, "dgr ada skandal"
"dgn mamat tuh la, dgn mamat ni lah... macam2... memang frust aku... tapi nk bwt cmne, kalau bertemu temulah, kalau berpisah, berpisahlah..
Naik Part 3, entah mcamana, aku dah berani, bersembang dgn dia... ada laa 2-3 event yg membuatkan aku lebih berani kerana perbualan aku dgn dia selalunya berkaitan assignment atau topik2 yg berkaitan dgn pelajaran... Time nih aku dah start berpikir, "boleh kot...." hahahaaha...
Hujung Part 3, aku dah bwt confession.. tapi aku x penah ada high expectation utk berdamping dgnnya... dia paham and conclusion nye, ktaowg macam teman tapi mesra.. hahaa
Naik Part 4... kita owg dah macam serasi... everyday call, maybe kadang2 je x smpt... she understands me....
Awak.... sayang Awak. : )
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Sayang
Futsal bersama rakan2 Penang di Tampin.. padahal dekat penang susahnya nak berjumpa. hahaha..
lepas main, pi la makan dkt kedai area2 tampin tuh... bole la than sedap dia, or maybe rase sedap coz time tuh tgh lapar gila.. hahaah..
anyway, sembang punya sembang punya sembang, tiba2 sorang petik, "aik, sekarang hati dah ada taman nampak?".
aku pon buat selamba badak, "sapa?"...
dua2 pown jerit dkt aku " hang la!"...
hahahah, aku pown menafikan, "eh, mana ada" "jgn dok tuduh bukan2"....
tapi sebenarnya, memang hati ku ada taman.. taman yang baru dibina dari pengenalan yang bertegur hanya apabila berjumpa,
kini persahabatan yang sentiasa hubung menghubungi....
it's been a while since i could smile helplessly when i see you or recieve ur text...
u give me something i lost years ago... LOVE.
thanks sayang..
lepas main, pi la makan dkt kedai area2 tampin tuh... bole la than sedap dia, or maybe rase sedap coz time tuh tgh lapar gila.. hahaah..
anyway, sembang punya sembang punya sembang, tiba2 sorang petik, "aik, sekarang hati dah ada taman nampak?".
aku pon buat selamba badak, "sapa?"...
dua2 pown jerit dkt aku " hang la!"...
hahahah, aku pown menafikan, "eh, mana ada" "jgn dok tuduh bukan2"....
tapi sebenarnya, memang hati ku ada taman.. taman yang baru dibina dari pengenalan yang bertegur hanya apabila berjumpa,
kini persahabatan yang sentiasa hubung menghubungi....
it's been a while since i could smile helplessly when i see you or recieve ur text...
u give me something i lost years ago... LOVE.
thanks sayang..
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Four FlaT
New Year's Resolution??
I Have one.
I want an ABOVE 3.00 CGPA for my Fourth Sem in Lendu.
Insyallah, I'll work my Ass off for it!!
I Have one.
I want an ABOVE 3.00 CGPA for my Fourth Sem in Lendu.
Insyallah, I'll work my Ass off for it!!
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